All I Want for Christmas
by Brookebynature
Summary: Four years after high school, Lucas finds himself dressed as Santa for James' school. A chance encounter with a little girl throws him back into the life of the brunette he'd never forgotten, where relationships, truths and forgiveness are forced. Bl, NH
1. Prologue

**Author- **Emily-Grace Mendes (Brookebynature)

**Disclaimer- **I don't own any of the characters, or the Bobcats or One Tree Hill. Oh, and I don't own Christmas either.

**A/N-** I can't believe it's nearly Christmas already! It hardly seems like any time has passed since I was writing 'A Brucas Christmas Special'! So here I am again, with another Christmassy fic, with yet another brilliant title. Sometimes I amaze even myself...haha. So it's Brucas (OBVIOUSLY!) and Naley too cos I'm giving myself a challenge with two pairings here seeing as it will make more of a story. Hope you enjoy this prologue, and please let me know if I should continue. If the feedback is good, I'll keep writing for this, if not so much, then I'll update 'Nude, With Calla Lilies'

Love Gracie xxx

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**What I Want for Christmas**

Prologue

"Haley I look freaking ridiculous!" Lucas grumbles, rolling his eyes at his reflection in the mirror. Dressed as Santa, and stood in his very un-Christmassy living room, he attempts to sit still on the couch before quickly jumping up.

"What are you doing?"

"See? I knew I'd be too hot in here, and this damn…beard." He mutters, tugging at the white fluff covering his mouth.

"Lucas, you're not looking to win any style awards, you're Santa at James' school."

"Couldn't he have told them Nathan would do it?"

"James can't rely on Nathan." Haley replies coldly. The look in her eyes silently tells Lucas not to push the matter any further. "None of us can."

"Haley…"

"You know what Lucas? You're James' Godfather, so can you please just do this?"

He looks back at his best friend, her left hand without its wedding ring rubbing her face. It's pale and tired-looking now, worn out from endless shifts at the café, worked partly as a favour to Karen, who was finding it difficult to be a single Mother to four-year-old Lily, and partly to save up enough money to be able to afford her own place again.

"I'm sorry." She breathes, "I just can't…"

"I know." Lucas nods.

Haley and now four-year-old James had been living with Lucas for a year, after Nathan had left their apartment. After loosing our on a college scholarship, and after that, his job coaching at a local basketball camp, Nathan had sought solace in alcohol, a couple bottles of beer at first, increasing to too much for Haley to bother arguing about.

The camp he'd coached at had been shut down after developers had bought the plot of land to turn a profit from building apartments. The last thing Tree Hill needed was more apartments, Nathan had told Haley, before opening another bottle of beer.

It wasn't supposed to turn out that way. The three of them were supposed to be happy together. They didn't have money, but that wasn't supposed to matter, because they loved each other. They were a family. Families weren't supposed to fall apart.

"_I'm doing this for you and James." Nathan had said as he'd opened the front door, taking with him his sports bag, and a few clothes. He hadn't even remembered his toothbrush_

He'd made it big now though, playing basketball for the Bobcats, with two apartments and a fancy car. He wore clothing that sportswear companies sent, rather than paying for it, and every basketball fan knew his name.

He'd sent a cheque to Haley every week since he'd gotten his place on the team.

"_Use it Hales." Lucas had urged. "He'd hate it if he knew you two didn't have a place of your own."_

"_It's guilt money." She'd snapped. "I'm saving it for when James goes to college. He needs a father, not his cheques."_

With every cheque had come a letter, and after Haley had removed the small slip from each envelope, the remaining contents had burned on Lucas' fire, nothing but black ash and memories left.

"Which day?" Lucas asks, changing the topic back to his stint as Santa. If it took Haley's mind off of Nathan for even a few minutes, he figures it's worth it.

"Thursday." She tells him with a strained smile. "It's the nativity production on Friday, so the school figured they'd get the excitement of Santa out of the way first."

"Great." Lucas muses, scratching his itching chin under the fluffy beard. "Should I put on weight?"

"What?"

"Well Santa's supposed to be a little more…rounded isn't he?"

"More rounded than you, yeah." Haley laughs a little, watching Lucas try to breathe out.

"How about a cushion?"

"Whatever." She smiles, shaking her head at the sight of her best friend strike different poses. "And Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for this, for it all."

He smiles, removing the beard. "It's no trouble."

-

"Rachel I have to away on business." Brooke tells the redhead, snapping her cell shut as Rachel looks up towards her from her position on the floor of their living room, a Barbie in one hand, the other holding her body up a little to avoid making her cashmere sweater look anything other then pristine. "Can you watch Skye for me?"

"When?"

"Next week." She replies, kissing the little girl beside Rachel on her forehead. She barely waits for the answer as she steps over numerous Barbies and their clothing, past the cushions on the floor pretending to be the Playboy Mansion towards the flat screen television at the other end of the room. Having a four-year-old around what's supposed to be a swanky city apartment hasn't done much to keep the place looking elegant, but the two friends haven't had time to care.

Brooke's clothing line had taken her to New York, with Rachel following soon after to attend college at NYU to study fashion journalism. After spending hours upon hours with Brooke, she'd learnt more than a thing or two about the processes involved from designing clothing to actually getting it to retail, and had decided that advising others was what she was destined to do.

"_You can't just tell people they look like crap." Brooke had told her after hearing that Rachel had told a woman not to wear turquoise blue because it emphasised her ample waist. "You have to advise, not shoot down in flames."_

"_She needed to know!" Rachel had replied indignantly. "Besides, I was helping all the same."_

Between them now, Brooke and former-enemy Rachel managed a successful fashion line, a small fashion magazine, and the raising of Skyla 'Skye' Davis, who knew probably way too much, and yet not enough at the same time.

"You're always away now Mommy." Skye pouts, learning her tricks from the best, as Rachel catches Brooke's eye, and the two of them exchange sympathetic looks.

"I know baby, but this is the last time before Christmas, I promise."

"You promised last time."

"I know but…"

"I told my parents I'd visit them." Rachel cuts in softly, giving Brooke her best 'I'm sorry' face.

"Can't you take her with you? She likes California."

"They're not in California." She says.

"Then where…"

"Tree Hill."

-

"Scott." Nathan hears his name, and hoping for the best, makes his way into the coach's office, tracksuit zipped up to his neck, hands plunged deep into his pocket. "Sit down."

The tone of his voice tells Nathan that things aren't good, and the look on the man's face says only the same.

"Tell me why it is that you failed a drugs test."

"I…" Nathan falters, not knowing what to say. "I didn't know that we'd be having tests. I don't do drugs, I…"

"Traces of alcohol were found. And to say that you didn't know there'd be a test." His voice booms, Nathan's body slumped further into the chair opposite, his blue eyes staring at a picture of his coach with his wife and sons at a previous game. "Rubbish! You had practise anyway, you'd be a fool to drink before suicides!"

"I'm sorry coach." He fumbles "It won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't. You know the rules Nathan."

"C'mon, coach don't bench me."

"Oh, you're not benched." He replies, causing a brief smile to flick across Nathan's lips. "If you're lucky, you'll get to watch from a t.v screen."

"What?"

"You heard me. You can't pass a drugs test, you can't be on my court until I know you've learnt your lesson."

"C'mon coach, I'm sorry." He pleads. "It won't happen again, I promise."

"Thing is Scott," The coach begins, concern written across his face. "It's hard to believe the promises of alcoholics. More often than not, they get broken." He throws a leaflet at Nathan, pointing to the door. "Read it, and if you're still the same player in a year, I'll sign a new contract with you."

"You can't drop me!" Nathan protests. "I still have another year on my contract."

"You fail a drugs test, I can drop you like that." He replies, a click of his fingers as a sad smile crosses his lips. "You think I want to let my point-guard go?"

Nathan doesn't hear the rest. In his mind, he's already at a bar, drowning depression in beer after beer, whisky after whisky as the barmaid tells him he should call a cab.

It's a mess: his career, his family, and he knows that within a day, this will be spread across the front page of every newspaper, blasting out of every sports channel as he sinks a beer and orders another.

_What do __**you **__want for Christmas?_ Reads a billboard en route to his apartment, and as Nathan sits in yet another traffic jam, the radio turned up load so that he can't hear the coach's words echoing in his head, he can't help but want his life back: James, Haley, basketball. Happiness.

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Continue? Yes or no? Let me know guys, much love xxx 


	2. Santa Claus

**A/N- **Woo! Thank you soooooo much for your lovely reviews last chapter, they really inspired me to continue with this, as I was having doubts that I'd end up repeating some elements from last year's story. But I've tried to plan (which I never normally do haha) and I think I'm doing alright :) So I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I shall try to update within a week.

I changed the name of this story, just because I thought it read better than 'What I want for Christmas', so I have to credit Mariah Carey before she sues me.

And as always, I ask you to review, just because if I've had a crappy day, your reviews always cheer me up :)

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**All I Want for Christmas**

Santa Claus

"Thanks for this Rach." Brooke smiles, tying the scarf around her daughter's neck. The little girl pouts up at her, wisps of shiny brunette hair poking out from under her hat.

"Mommy I'm too hot." She mumbles, burying her head into Brooke's shoulder as she tweaks her nose gently.

"Skyla Davis you're always complaining." She jokes, hoisting her daughter until their faces are level and she can plant tiny kisses all over the little girl's face, making her squeal and forget all about being too hot.

"You're silly." She giggles, pushing her tiny hand into Brooke's glossy lips to stop her from continuing.

"And you're silly, and Auntie Rachel is silly but hey, who's complaining?" Brooke shrugs, placing earmuffs over Skyla's head to complete her outfit.

"She looks like a parcel dressed like that." Rachel mutters, taking a long look at the little girl she's about to take to a different state. She looks like a cute parcel admittedly, with dark jeans and a beige sweater, chocolate uggs, with scarf, mittens and hat, and of course, to finish the ensemble, beige earmuffs, yet a parcel nonetheless.

"Well she's my little parcel and I'm going to miss her so much while we're apart." Brooke answers, handing her daughter to Rachel, who offers a smile and a wink that they'll be fine.

"Can't you come Mommy? Like the three mouseketeers?"

"It's musketeers baby, and no I can't." Brooke pouts back at Skye. "I'm doing boring work things and you and Auntie Rach are going to have a great time."

"How about you give your Mommy a kiss and then go get your suitcase princess?" Rachel suggests, moving closer to Brooke for her daughter to reach her. "I'm just going to talk to her for a bit."

"Will you be quick?" She asks, clutching the stuffed toy dog that Rachel had bought her when she was first born.

"As quick as you can click your fingers." She replies to a frowning little girl, who simply shrugs okay, trudging towards her bedroom.

Living together had done much more good than the two of them had previously thought for their friendship, and Brooke couldn't have even imagined how much of a help Rachel would be to have around.

"What if I see him?" Rachel hisses, her eyes wide as Brooke attempts to be casual.

"Keep walking."

"You don't think he's going to say hi?"

"Okay, so pretend you didn't hear him."

"What about Skye?"

"What about her?" Brooke asks. "She's not exactly going to say 'hey, you're the father that I never knew about!' is she?"

Rachel lets out a shaky breath, and then shrugs. "Fine. But if someone asks whether she's mine, I'm not going to lie. I don't want the people of Tree Hill thinking I got knocked up in senior year."

Brooke shoots a glare, and Rachel flicks her hair. "Sorry."

"Whatever, just keep her safe."

-

"Haley, you've gotta turn the t.v on." Lucas walks in, clutching a newspaper before throwing down on the coffee table. The picture of Nathan plastered across the front page catches her attention, and her trembling fingers reach for the remote.

"_**Bobcats point guard Nathan Scott dropped."**_

"_**Nathan Scott: the latest celebrity to head to rehab?"**_

"_**Nathan Scott heads home."**_

"Home?" Haley gulps after hearing the latest station announce details of her husband's failed drugs test. They speculate cocaine, speed, steroids. It's all wrong, Haley can guess, because she knows Nathan. She just wishes she didn't anymore.

"The papers say he was loading stuff from his apartment into his car last night."

"That's it." Haley tells him, getting up frantically.

"What's it?" Lucas asks. "Where are you going?"

"I'm taking James to visit Taylor."

"Taylor?"

"Yeah, I can't stay here if Nathan's coming back."

"Haley you're being stupid." Lucas tries to reason. "You can't go running away, he's your husband, and besides, you've done nothing wrong."

She stops for a moment, shaky hands running through her hair, hair that's darker now, no money or concern for having it dyed the golden colour it used to be a few years back, when Nathan would tell her that she looked like honey and tasted like syrup.

"If Brooke or Peyton came back now, would you stay?"

"What?"

"Brooke and Peyton. Say either one of them was coming home. Would you stay?"

"Hales, this has nothing to do with Brooke or Peyton."

"Answer the question." She demands. Tears pricking in her eyes as she hears the reporter on the news channel tell the whole of America things about her husband that only she should know.

Lucas shrugs. "I'd stay."

"Why?"

"There's nothing left for us anymore. No future, nothing to tie us together, no…" He falters at the end, giving way to his burning desire to change the subject. They don't talk about Brooke or Peyton anymore, it's a deal. No past relationships, no future, just the present.

"But I still love him." Haley trembles, tears rolling. "I know I'm not supposed to, and I don't want to, but I do."

Lucas reaches his arms around her, pulling her to his chest as her hair falls over her face.

"I don't know if I can handle seeing him again Luke."

-

"Is this where you used to live Auntie Rach?" Skye asks, craning her head as Rachel keeps a tight hold of the little girl's hand, her eyes scanning the still-familiar streets of Tree Hill, with a light dusting of snow covering the ground, and the big tree in the town square lit with pretty twinkling lights.

"It is princess."

"And Mommy too?"

"And Mommy too." She replies, pulling the large suitcase in her other hand, Skye pulling her tiny pink one at the other side of the twosome.

They trudge through the main street, their steps getting slower as Skye struggles to concentrate on pulling her case when there's snow on the ground.

"You fancy a snowball fight?" Rachel asks grinning, as the little girls squeals and nods. "Well how about we leave our cases over there by that bench, and then we have free hands."

The following fifteen minutes sees the two of them scraping small amounts of snow off of the ground and hiding behind the few trees on a small area of grass as they take it turns to throw snow that doesn't make it into balls. Skye of course, is too excited to care that her snow isn't hitting Rachel, and Rachel fails to notice the comically-dressed man sat on the bench by their cases.

"Rachel?"

For a minute, the red-head has to figure out who the voice belongs to, but on realising that in fact, it's only some guy from the raven's who she'd had in her bed a couple times, the pounding in her chest goes away, and she turns on the act she'd perfected back in senior year.

She turns to view Skye, who's busy trying to make a snowman like Brooke had showed her last year to bother that her snowball fight has ended. So Rachel continues her conversation, letting the guy dust the flakes of snow off her jacket as he tells her she looks even hotter than she did back in high school.

-

"Are you Santa Claus?" Skye asks the man sat on the bench, his red velvet jacket and pants visible for miles. The beard on his chin is itching, but he doesn't take it off, because the inquisitive look in the little girl's eyes is too familiar.

"Sure I am." He replies as she climbs onto the bench beside the suitcases, her feet in their uggs dangling in the cold air. He can't tell her that actually, his name is Lucas Scott, and the only reason he's dressed like this and sat there is because he's waiting for his best friend to pick him up to go to a school party.

"Then can I tell you want I want for Christmas?" She asks, settling herself a little closer to him on the bench.

"Sure you can, now are you going to tell me your name?" He smiles, watching two tiny dimples emerge at the side of her lips.

She nods, grinning away with shinning blue eyes. "My name is Skye Davis, and I'd like a puppy."

There's more to her list, but Lucas doesn't hear it. Her name answers the silent questions about why she's looked familiar, and those dimples only reinforce his suspicions. They scream Brooke Davis, and Skye's raven-coloured hair confirms that the girl he hasn't seen in four years is definitely her mother.

She reels off her address like it's been instilled into her, with the zip code and the apartment number, followed by her age in years and months, and ended with

"My Mommy's name is Brooke, and I have an Auntie Rachel."

It's becoming harder for Lucas to swallow the lump that's formed in his throat, and as he watches Skye scoot off the seat, after hearing name being called, it's all he can do not to scream. He needs to know how Brooke is, and what she's doing in New York. He needs to know why there's never been Skye's name on any of the Christmas or birthday cards to Haley and James (the ones to Nathan have never been opened). And he needs to know who her father is, because now he's trembling with fear that it might be him.

Skye leans closer to him one more time, her fingers in the pretty mittens stroking his suit, a pensive expression crossing her face.

"And there's something else I want for Christmas, but it doesn't matter if you can't bring me it."

"And what's that?" Lucas forces, his voiced strained, as he watches her dimples re-emerge in a smile.

"I'd like to have my daddy."

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Please review guys, love Gracie xxx 


	3. Every Letter

**A/N- **I love you guys so much :) Your reviews really do make my day (which often sucks now that I'm at uni and I still have an assigment to do before I can go home for Christmas) so please keep them coming. I'm going to have to update faster now lol cos I've realised that this story is going to be longer than I originally thought, I want it complete before Christmas!

I really hope you enjoy, and don't forget to hit the little review button at the end :)

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**All I Want for Christmas**

Every Letter

"So I was trying to work out how nobody noticed." Lucas says, almost sarcastically as she stands there, door wide open, long hair tumbling over her shoulders as it blows a little in the freezing wind. The ground is almost covered with snow now, and the view from her apartment looks like a magical Christmas snow globe, beautiful and perfect. "I mean, I figured you were always good at hiding things, covering things up." He continues, Brooke's hands trembling as the anger and disappointment in his voice wash over her again and again until she can tune back in to what he's saying, and the cycle starts all over again.

"But this is freakin ridiculous, even for you." He paces, hands frozen and sore from the incessant rubbing against his jeans. It doesn't matter though. None of it matters other than Brooke and Skye, and the truth he needs to know. "You were pregnant, and you didn't tell anyone? Jesus Brooke."

"How…" She stutters, not even sure what she's trying to say.

"Where is she?"

"Who?"

"Your daughter!" Lucas demands, blue eyes burning as he pushes past her anyway, and into the apartment he'd always imagined she'd live in.

There are Barbies on the floor, he hadn't imagined that. There are pink plastic drinking glasses on the coffee table, and tiny pairs of shoes underneath the rack of coats, mittens on string and scarves with pink polka dots. There are pictures, framed and on walls, of the two of them, one at Disneyland, one on the beach. There's one with Rachel too, with everyone smiling as though they haven't been keeping secrets for the last four years.

"She went with Rach to get a movie."

She looks perfect. Her hair is shiny and curled at the ends, her eyes the same multitude of colours, different browns and greens all mixed into one, her lips glossy and pink, probably still coated in the strawberry lip gloss she always used to wear. Her skin is still flawless, pale as the porcelain ornaments his Mom used to have in her living room, back when the two of them would take no notice of things like that, choosing instead, to spend their time kissing on the sofa, or more often than not, in his bed.

Things are different now though. Her clothes are pressed and rich. She's wearing fabrics she only used to wear to the highest social events, silks and cashmere, no doubt with furs and the best leathers in her closet to pick from.

She's not the fun, bubbly teenage party girl he loved. She's a Mom.

"How did you find out Lucas?" She asks, almost tiredly. "Why are you here?"

"Her birthday's October. So I worked it out."

He waits for some sort of response, some confirmation that she knows where he's going with this. But she's blank, face devoid of emotion, of colour. Nothing but white as the snow falling outside.

"I looked at her, and I thought, things with Chase must have gone great for you. So I was happy. But then I…"

"How did you even see her?" Brooke interrupts, getting more angry now, not only towards Lucas, but towards herself and Rachel. It's not fair to blame her though; she'd warned that something like this could have happened.

"You think that's important in all of this?" Lucas raises his voice, rubbing the back of his neck harshly as Brooke's eyes fill with silent tears that never fall. He knows she won't let them, not in front of him anyway. "I was waiting for Haley, and Skye and Rachel were having a snowball fight. I didn't realise it was them until Skye came to sit next to me while Rachel was…occupied with some guy." Lucas finishes more calmly, the speed of his breathing decreasing as Brooke's lip trembles.

"Rachel didn't tell me." She replies softly.

"She didn't know it was me. I was dressed as Santa."

His explanation provokes a small laugh, a tight smile and a momentary glimpse of perfect dimples until they're diminished again, silence falling across her apartment.

"But that doesn't matter." Lucas tells her. "The more I looked at her, the more I realised Chase couldn't be her father."

"I…"

"Her eyes are blue."

"Gorgeous blue." Brooke nods with a smile. Skyla has meant everything to her from the day she found out she was pregnant.

"Chase has brown eyes." Lucas continues. "And yours have brown and green in them."

"Lucas…" She tries to tell him, to give him an explanation, but he doesn't let her. The faltering of her voice and the increased desire within him to find the truth allow him to interrupt once again, while Brooke only stands there, waiting to confirm all the questions she knows he'll ask, but hoped he never would.

"She thought I was Santa. Asked me if she could tell me what she wanted for Christmas. So I said yes. Thought it might be a bike, maybe a doll or God forbid, a damn cheerleading uniform like yours."

"She wants a puppy." Brooke cuts in. There's no way she's going to let him think that she knows nothing about her own daughter.

"Yeah she does. And you know what else she asked for?"

"What?" She bites, more frustrated.

"Her Daddy."

Lucas' eyes are cold as the words leave his mouth, colder as Brooke slams her hand against the table, defiant that her daughter would ever tel anyone such things.

"So if Chase was her father, surely he would have kept in contact. He wasn't the kind of guy not to. So my next thought? That Brooke Davis had been up to her old ways again…drunk at some bar…"

"How dare you!" She spits, cheeks red, eyes burning as he practically calls her a slut for the second time. "You know nothing about me, or about Skye or anyone!"

"Then tell me!" He demands. "Because as much as I tried to put it to the back of my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about that one night just before I got together with Peyton. That was January, nine months before October."

Her face says everything. Her eyes are staring straight at him for the first time in years, a single tear now falling as she simply nods her head once, breathing in sharply, her shaking hand wiping at her cheek as something in his stomach lurches, and she sinks down into the couch he's stood beside.

He wants to shout, to scream, to shake her to evoke something. He wants to go back four years, to do everything differently, for her to tell him that she's pregnant with his child, for him to be able to promise that everything will be alright.

"Why didn't you tell me Brooke?" He can't shout. His voice won't let him. It's cracking now, breaking as he sits down beside her, blue eyes to match that of his daughter, broken, bitterly disappointed that he's missed four wasted years of his daughter's life.

"I wanted to." She says unconvincingly. "I used to count how many times I'd almost finished dialing your number before I put the phone down, and how many times I walked down your street, never making it to your house. I'd done that so many times I'd forgotten the number."

"Brooke…"

"I'm so sorry, I really did want to tell you because I knew how much I'd regret it if I didn't, and how much I'd hate myself for not letting you be a part of her life."

"So why…"

"There was always this fear in the back of my mind that you'd choose Peyton over her." Brooke cuts in, now unable to stop telling him everything that she's kept to herself four the last four years. "I thought knowing that I was pregnant might ruin your relationship."

"Brooke I would never…"

"I couldn't be sure that you wouldn't put her before Skye, and I couldn't stand the thought of her being as hurt as I was. I couldn't do that to my daughter, so it was easier for you and her and me to not even make that an option. I didn't do it for me Luke." She cries a little, blinking back all the tears she never cried over him. "I did it for Skye and I'd do it again and again if I thought that's what was best for her."

"But this isn't about Peyton."

"I know." She replies. "It's about my daughter."

"She's _our _daughter Brooke!" Lucas replies. "Every part of her is _ours _and you should have told me! I should have known about her. She should have known about me! I should have been there when you went to the first scan and when you fixed the crib…"

"Rachel's pretty good at DIY." She sniffs a little, laughing through salty tears. "Not at diapers, but DIY is kind of her forte."

"But it should have been me! I should have held your hand when you were swearing that you'd never get pregnant again, and when you gave her her first bath, and when she said her first word. And I should have been there with the camcorder, like all the other dads when she had her first day of school."

"I know." Brooke nods sadly, yet somewhat unsurely. "But it's easy to say that now. It wasn't then, and not telling you was the hardest decision I had to make, and the worst secret I ever had to keep. And it was Rach."

"What was?" He asks, slowly realising just what she might have had to go through.

"Her first word. It was Rach."

She offers a small smile as Lucas screws his nose up. "I know, you can imagine how pissed I was at her." Her dimples emerge, eyes now without their tears meeting his.

"I bet she was…"

"She had a smirk on her face for days." Brooke nods, her fingers curling around her folded arms in their cashmere sweater, soft and luxurious, perfectly plain yet perfectly comfortable. "But it should have been you."

"What should?"

"Her first word. It should have been Daddy. I wrote about her in every letter." She tells him. "The colour of her hair, her eyes, her skin. Her name, and her weight and her length. And I told you about the drawings she did and the plays she put on, and the songs she sung."

"I didn't get any letters Brooke."

She shakes her head knowingly. "I never sent them. I wrote about her in every letter and I never sent a single one."

-

"Why are you doing this to me?" Haley asks, her voice much stronger than the way she's feeling. Her legs feel like jelly, like they might give way at any time, her head light, as though she's not really stood with the door open with her husband in front of her, her hands numb, like they can't feel anything, like it's someone else holding that door wide open. "Why are you here?"

"I love you Haley." Nathan tells her, whisky on his breath, face unshaven, hair and clothes unkempt as he silently begs forgiveness for his ongoing mistakes. "It's in every letter."

"I didn't read the letters." She replies blankly. It's the truth, she didn't. Every letter was burned, along with every memory and every hope she'd held for the two of them as a couple, the three of them as a family.

"I'm sorry." He continues, undeterred, dark circles under his eyes and freezing breath asking her to let him in. "You didn't deserve what I did, and James didn't deserve what I did."

She only shrugs. "No, we didn't. But you made that choice and you can't apologize enough for what you did to him, to both of us."

"I know, but I…"

"No." She shakes her head. "No buts. You think a cheque could make up for you leaving?"

"I was trying to do the best thing!"

"The best thing would have been to stay with us, to not drink yourself to rehab. The best thing, would have been to love me and James."

"I do love you Haley." Nathan pleads.

She only shakes her head again, softly, hair flicking around her shoulders. "Not enough."

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Please review :) 


	4. Bubble Beards

**A/N- **Major thank you's to everyone who reviewed, and sorry that this chapter took a while, but I was about to post it the other day and I decided to make some alterations lol. It's now two word pages longer :) Hope you enjoy, and please review at the end :)

Oh, and I'll take this oppertunity to hassle **Lynn **for an update! You're killing me!

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**All I Want for Christmas**

Bubble Beards

"Lucas I need you to come home." Haley chokes down the phone. "Nathan is back and he wants to see James and I just…can't this interview wait?"

"No." He replies simply. So it wasn't an interview, but still, being in New York with his daughter couldn't wait.

"What do you mean no? Luke, you're supposed to be my best friend."

"Hales…"

"No, you know what, you're just like Nathan and Dan. You let people d…"

"I lied." Lucas tells her softly, wanting to offer his best friend all the sympathy in the world, but he can't seem to find it, not now.

"Urgh you really are just like Nathan and Dan." Haley snaps. "I thought you were different Luke, I thought…"

"It's Brooke." Lucas cuts in.

"As in, Brooke Davis, absentee Godmother to my son?"

"Haley…"

"Look Lucas" She says tiredly. "Are you coming home? James is missing you and I really need you right now."

"I…Haley, I… Brooke had a daughter, I have…_we_ have a daughter."

"You have a daughter? With Brooke? And what, she just kept her from you all these years? How is that even possible?"

"It's complicated."

"Lucas, complicated is when you sleep with your girlfriend's best friend, or when you're still married to someone who insists on being a complete asshole."

"That's not fair."

"What's not fair?" Haley bites. "None of this is fair Luke, not Brooke, not Nathan, not anything."

"Can I just…call you later?" Lucas asks as Rachel appears in the doorway, her face shocked. He doesn't wait for an answer, hanging up anyway because he hasn't got the time or the capacity to feel guilty towards Haley.

"Lucas?"

"Rachel." He nods gruffly, his eyes flicking towards the kitchen where Brooke had disappeared to make them each a cup of coffee.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, but before he can reply with something along the lines of 'to find out the truth', he hears a tiny voice, one calling for her Mommy to tell her that they've rented 'Bratz the Movie'. Again.

"Oh…"Skye trails off, seeing Lucas sat on the couch, cell phone still in his hand as he shifts uncomfortably.

"Hi Skye."

"How do you know my name?" She questions, her eyes blue and bright and shinning, just like Brooke's always had done, yet exactly the same colour of his.

"Your Mommy told me about you." He smiles. "I used to know her in high school."

"Oh." The little girl contemplates. "That was a lot of years ago."

"Only four years." Lucas tells her with a small laugh. "We're not that old."

"That's my number! Four is my number of years old!" She exclaims excitedly, giving him a small, shy wave before bouncing into the kitchen clutching their rental dvd.

He can hear Brooke fake enthusiasm for the next couple hours as she has to watch young girls doing cheesy friendship stuff with ridiculous songs in the background, Skye growing more excited before Brooke laughs and tells her to calm down.

He'd give anything to have that though: friendship. Sure, he had Haley, but he'd lost Nathan, and Peyton and Brooke, _especially Brooke_. He'd even missed Rachel, as much as she'd annoyed him back in high school, yet when he watches her inspect her nails as though all of this was normal, something snaps.

"Nice of you to go along with Brooke's little secret." Lucas hisses at her, the redhead unsure of how to respond.

"Hey! Don't blame me, it's what Brooke wanted. She's my best friend, I keep her secrets."

"Shame you didn't think like that when you played the video from the time capsule." Lucas bites back, catching a shocked Brooke giving him one of her disgusted looks in the doorway.

"Hey Princess." Rachel calls to Skyla. "How about we go out to the grocery store? We forgot popcorn!"

Skyla giggles and Brooke mouths 'thank you' to the girl who's been the best support she'll ever know, as they leave, a quick glance back to the couch where Lucas is sitting before Rachel closes the door.

"That was out of line." Brooke says coldly, almost slamming Lucas' cup of coffee in front of him. "You can blame me for not telling you about Skye, but not Rachel. She only did what I asked her to do."

-

It's awkward between them, neither wanting to acknowledge what had happened, neither wanting to explain, neither wanting to say what they really wanted. They'd made small talk, chatting about how cold it's been lately, how busy they are at work, how the coffee they're drinking is fair trade, yet none of it contains details, nothing of interest. Nothing about Nathan or Haley or Peyton. Nothing about high school or college or their daughter.

But it's getting to Lucas, and he can't not know.

"How did you manage it Brooke?" He asks softly, looking around the room at the photos.

"I got paid a lot more than I thought I would, and Rach buys the food rather than paying rent…"

"No." He shakes his head. "I mean, how did you manage to keep everyone from finding out. You never even _looked _pregnant."

She shrugs in that same nonchalant manner that she always adopted back in high school, back when Lucas thought he knew her. "Everyone was focused on Haley. It helped that she was further along than me, so her stomach was bigger anyway."

"Brooke..." Lucas raises his eyebrows at her, knowing that hiding a pregnancy could never be that easy. "You still wore your cheerleaders uniform."

She dips her head, her lips poised over the cup of coffee in her hand.

"Fine." Brooke rolls her eyes a little, trying to be as brave as she can, but when Lucas offers her a sad smile, it's all she can do not to cry and yell that he should have been there to take care of her. "It was really hard." She replies honestly, biting her bottom lip as she moves the coffee a little further away from her face. "I didn't eat…"

"You didn't eat?" Lucas half-shouts almost disapprovingly.

"No!" Brooke returns. "I didn't eat for most of the time. I didn't eat chocolate or candy or ice cream or chips or pizza or any of that stuff you're supposed to crave when you're pregnant. If I ate, I had salads or fruit and water, and you know what? You don't get to judge me because you weren't there Lucas!"

Her face is red from anger and her eyes look like they might give way to a waterfall at any time. Her hands tremble and even though Lucas wants to scream at her, all he can think about is kissing her bottom lip to stop it from shaking, running over the gloss with his tongue until she moans softly, just like she used to five years ago.

"Can't we go back five years?" He asks aloud, Brooke frowning at him, not knowing whether he wants her to answer, whether he _expects _her to answer. "I could have got you to stay, I shouldn't have let you end things between us."

Brooke shakes her head. "Don't say things like that Lucas."

"I could have told you that I loved you more than anyone, and that you were the most important thing. You'd have told me that you were pregnant and I'd have promised things would be alright." He continues , undeterred by Brooke's response. "I'd have been the proudest dad. I'd have endured all the pink and the Barbies and the disinterest towards basketball."

Brooke only shakes her head again, no. "It wouldn't have worked Lucas." She chokes. "We wouldn't have done or said any of those things."

"But…"

"But nothing Lucas." She urges. "So what if we'd stayed together? We'd have fought and kept secrets because that's what happened to us! We'd have been like those couples you see on Jerry Springer. I couldn't have put Skye through that."

"It wouldn't have happened." He replies confidently.

"Yes it would, and you know it."

-

Rachel and Skyla returned a good hour later, with popcorn and ice cream and a huge bar of Hersheys cookies and cream, Brooke's favourite.

"You've done a really great job with her Brooke." Lucas tells hr, getting up to put his coat on.

"It wasn't all me. Rachel helped a lot."

"Still, you've given her everything." He smiles, watching the little girl sit down in front of the television excitedly.

"Excuse me Skyla Davies." Brooke eyes her daughter with a raised brow. "What do we do before we watch a movie?"

The little girl drops her head dejectedly. "Have a bath."

"That's right, now why don't you run the water and I'll be there in a minute."

"But baths are boring." She pouts. "And they take too long."

"How about a bath with bubbles?" Lucas suggests. "Those kind of baths aren't boring, and you can make fun beards with the bubbles."

"Really?" Skye giggles. "Beards? But I'm a girl. Girls don't have beards."

"That's what makes it fun." He replies with a smile. "And when I'm done talking to your Mommy, maybe she'll come and have a bubble beard too."

Brooke smiles and Lucas offers her a wink.

"I want to tell her Brooke." He says, almost urgently. "About me."

"About you?"

"That I'm her father. She should know. I _want _her to know."

"I…"

"Please." He begs, a lump forming in his throat as Brooke stares down at the floor.

"I think we should wait."

"But…"

"She might be confused Lucas. I don't want to scare her if she feels like you're a stranger."

"_You _made me the stranger! If you'd only told me, told her even, things wouldn't be like this."

"Brooke did what she thought was best." Rachel fights for her friend, sick of listening to the two of them from her position in the kitchen. She'd decided it was neutral territory, leaving her out of this whole mess, but right now, she couldn't stand to have Lucas talking to Brooke like all of this was her fault.

"Who asked you?" Lucas shouts. "Skye is my daughter and until today, I did even know that! You've been here for four years of her life, and I haven't even had four hours!"

"Because you weren't there for Brooke!" Rachel argues. "You can't be there for the girl you're supposed to love, how the hell could she expect you to be there for her and Skye?"

"Rach…" Brooke says softly, trying to get her friend to back down.

"No Brooke, he can't just show up here and upset you like this!"

"And you can't tell me how to treat the girl who kept my child a secret from me!"

"And you can't preach when you cheated on her twice! With her _best friend_." Rachel shouts.

Brooke only stands there, slightly shaken and sick as everything she's had to get past, every feeling she's tried to forget comes right back as though it hasn't been away.

"Sorry." Rachel says, looking at Brooke. "I was only trying…"

"I know." The brunette nods with a sad smile towards her now-best friend. "But…" Her eyes flick to Lucas, his coat on ready to leave. "Maybe I should…"

The redhead nods and shoots Lucas a scowl as Skyla shouts from the bathroom. "You want me to bath her?"

"No." Brooke shakes her head. "Thanks Rach but you've had her all day, you should have a rest."

She nods knowingly, yet gives a reassuring wink that she doesn't mind.

"But you should come." Brooke says a little coldly to Lucas.

"Me?"

"Yeah." She shrugs. "Someone needs to show her how to make these bubble beards."

-

"Auntie Rach!" Skyla screams, giggling hysterically as Brooke makes a noise that resembles 'h, ho, ho' before coughing the bubbles from out of her mouth that had crept in accidentally. Lucas and Sykla too, had their faces covered in bubbles, with 'extra special bubble hair' for the little girl, courtesy of Lucas.

"What the…" Rachel laughs a little, staring at the three of them in the bathroom.

"Auntie Rach you need a bubble beard too! Mommy make one for Auntie Rach!" Skye instructs, giggling as Brooke begins to cover Rachel's face in strawberry-scented bubble bath.

"Now we're the bubble beard family!" The little girl exclaims, clapping her hands and laughing as the three of them blow their bubbles across the tub. Rachel catches the exchange between the two parents, choosing to ignore it as Brooke plasters a smile across her face for the sake of her daughter.

"This is the funnest bath." She tells them as Lucas smiles proudly.

"See? I told you baths weren't always boring."

"If you're Mommy's friend, can you do bubble beard baths every time?"

"I…"

"I'm not sure about _every time _baby." Brooke cuts in, rescuing Lucas somewhat, yet crushing him all the same. "Lucas doesn't live here, he's only visiting."

Seeing the look on Lucas' face, Rachel takes over, making excuses that she should finish bathing Skye because after all, she's 'cooler than Mommy'.

-

"What are you doing Brooke?" Lucas asks, almost angrily. "To me, to Skye? Won't it confuse her even more to tell her that I'm her father after she thinks we're friends."

"It was you that told her that, not me!" The brunette defends. "We were never friends Lucas and you know it."

"We were!"

"No we weren't. We weren't friends when we first got together, or after we broke up _the first time_." Brooke adds. "We weren't friends the second time we were together, or the second time we broke up, or the night we slept together and got Skye as a result. Hell, we weren't even friends the night we promised we'd _be _friends!"

She's pacing the room now, still wearing silk and cashmere and expensive lip gloss. "We had strong feeling for each other, good and bad, but none of that was friendship. We did a relationship Lucas, or we did nothing. There wasn't room for anything in between, and there isn't now."

"Then lets do that."

"Lets do what?"

"Make things work. We have a chance, a reason to be together this time."

Brooke scoffs and Lucas squints, hurt. "If you think having Skye is a reason to be together, you're wrong. I've done fine without a relationship for the last four years, without you for the last four years. I don't need to start now."

"Mommy why are you shouting at your friend?" Skye asks, stood at the doorway in pink satin pyjamas, looking every inch like the princess Rachel calls her.

"I wasn't shouting at him baby, I was just…"

"I said something that was wrong, and I shouldn't have." Lucas tells his daughter softly. "Your Mommy was just correcting me."

"Oh." She replies, seemingly happy with the answer as she skips past them to resume her position in front of the television.

-

Lucas makes his excuses and leaves, not without writing down his cell number, pressing it into Brooke's hand and keeping his fingers there, perhaps just a little too long.

"Don't worry, I got 'The Notebook' for later." Rachel winks at her friend, preparing to watch Bratz for the millionth time. "I don't know why we just don't buy this."

Brooke's not listening though. She's busy wondering why she felt her chest ache when Lucas told Skyla that he'd said something he shouldn't have. The more she thinks about it, when she lets herself, the more she wants to be a family, with a house and two cars and a dog. She wants marriage and more children, and she doesn't want to be in this situation, hiding the paternity of her daughter's father. And probably the worst thing about all of this, is that she wants nothing more than for it to be Lucas that lies next to her when she falls into bed after another long day at work, Lucas who goes to the store to buy pickles and jelly, and Lucas that teaches her children to say 'Mommy'.

"Earth to Brooke!" Rachel calls.

"Sorry." She mumbles, facing her body towards the screen, but she's still not listening. She's dizzy from Lucas shouting at her, tingling, from where he placed the tiniest piece of paper in her hand for the tiniest second too long.

"Are you thinking about him?" Rachel asks, and Brooke lies, shaking her head, no.

But she is, and if they weren't supposed to work, if they weren't supposed to be together, Brooke can't figure out why all she wants now, is him.

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Pretty please review guys :)

xxx


	5. Tree Hill

**A/N- **A HUGE thank you to all of you lovely reviewers out there, and I really hope you enjoy this chapter. xxx

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**All I Want For Christmas**

Tree Hill

He was beginning to feel it: guilt. Towards Haley and James, towards Rachel for the way he'd spoken to her, and towards Skye, because he should have chosen Brooke all those years ago. If he had, if he'd got her to stay, if he'd let her all the way in, they wouldn't be doing _this _now. Broke wouldn't have been a single Mom for the last four year, Rachel wouldn't have had her social schedule altered by a screaming baby in the apartment, and Haley wouldn't be calling to say that she needed him at home.

"Brooke I have to go back." He manages to choke down the phone, glad that she can't see the tears in his eyes. He'd never been this emotional, but somehow, having a daughter he didn't even know was making him view things in a different way.

"Okay." Is all that she replies with, quietly, almost unemotionally, mechanically as she keeps her distance from him, even over the phone.

"I don't want to, I want to stay here, I want to be with you and Skye but..."

"I'll bring her." Brooke cuts in quickly, as if afraid that if she didn't say anything that second, she maybe never would. "To Tree Hill."

"W..."

"I've told her." She interrupts again, her voice different now, a little shaky, wavering, afraid perhaps. "About you, where you live. I promised her we'd visit."

Lucas isn't sure what to say. A small part of him doubts her, wonders whether she's just saying all of this to get him to leave. But he's not convinced she would ever use their daughter as an alibi, she means too much to her to do that.

"Thank you Brooke." He whispers.

She doesn't say anything, just the shutting of her eyes and the slow nodding of her head giving silence at the other end of the line.

"Can I speak to her?"

"Now?"

"Yeah."

Brooke pauses, watching as Skye plays with her Barbies, oblivious to the man on the other end of the call. "She's not here."

"But..."

"Lucas I've got to go." She says abruptly, ending the call before she can do or say anything she'll regret. She's always been too involved with emotions when it comes to the father of her princess, and knowing that if she lets him in again, she's likely to fall all over again for reasons the same as before, (and new ones too) Brooke knows it's best to keep her distance, for everyone's sakes.

-

He's greeted on his return to Tree Hill, by a flock of paparazzi surrounding his driveway, all asking what he's doing with Nathan Scott's wife and son.

Lucas only frowns, stepping past them with doubting suspicion until he spies his brother on the porch, huddled in the doorway, sports bag beside him as a brown beer bottle sits by his feet. His face is rough and unshaven, his eyes tired with dark circles underneath them, the navy blue tracksuit he's wearing clearly not providing enough warmth.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Lucas hisses, kicking the beer bottle angrily, the glass landing somewhere in the front yard, a thousand flashes going off with shouts of 'did you get that?' echoing around. "What are you doing to Haley?"

"I need her to talk to me."

"And she needed you to talk to her a year ago, but all you cared about was yourself." Lucas tells him coldly. "You have a son for Christ's sake!"

"Yeah, and what would _you _know about having a child and knowing you can't provide for them? There's a lot more going on than you know Luke."

"Really? Well I know a damn lot more than you think." Lucas mutters, turning his key in the lock after stepping over his younger brother. "Get inside."

"Luke thank God you're...What is he doing here?" Haley asks, her eyes red and swollen, giving away the fact that she's been crying.

Lucas shrugs. "Everything's gotten so messed up." He almost whispers as he walks past Haley, shaking his head sadly, bags still in his hands. "Nathan, tell Haley what you're doing here. _I_ don't even know what I'm doing here." He mumbles, exhausted from pleading with Brooke and arguing with Rachel and trying to stop himself from loving his own daughter.

-

After a long shower, Lucas is still unable to figure out his feelings towards Brooke. He desperately wants to be angry at her for what she's done, yet all he can seem to feel is the need to hold her, kiss her, apologise for not finding out sooner. He's sorry that she had to do it on her own, even if Rachel _was _there to help out. He's sorry for the way he treated her back in high school, because even if they hadn't been able to make it work, Brooke shouldn't have felt that she couldn't tell him she was pregnant with _his _child.

So Lucas had listened to Nathan playing with James as though he'd never been away, the little boy laughing as Nathan made up some ridiculous basketball-related story as he'd made coffee for himself, and one for Haley, who's cries he'd tried not to let disturb him as he'd passed the small room at the back of the house.

"Hales..." Lucas says softly, closing the door of his office behind him as he hands her the steaming mug.

"I told him he couldn't see James." She chokes. "I said no, and he pushed past me anyway, said I wasn't going to stop him. He smells like whisky Luke." Her voice manages to croak before it gives way to more tears, and that pain in her chest that's been there since the day Nathan left.

"Haley, he's with James." Lucas tries to reason. "Whisky or no whisky, he's not going to hurt him. Maybe you should..."

"Why the Hell are you sticking up for him?" Haley shouts suddenly, regaining what little strength she's had.

"I'm not, I'm just..."

"Just what? Making excuses for him?"

"I'm not making excuses." Lucas replies calmly. "I just know what it's like to want to spend time with your child when you're not allowed."

"Oh God Luke..." She trails off, her hand clasped over her mouth. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even ask about New York, I'm..."

"It's okay." He forces a smile, perching on the edge of his desk, the photograph of him, Haley and James catching his eye. It seems wrong now, to have that there. It should be one of him and Brooke with Skye, a family photo, _his _family photo.

"You have..."

"A daughter." He nods, a real smile creeping across his lips. "Skye. She has Brooke's hair and colouring, and definitely her personality. But she's got my eyes." He says softly, almost whispering that they're the colour of the ocean, deep and sparkling and beautiful.

"How old is she?" Haley asks.

"She just turned four in October."

"October? But how did..."

"It was one night." Lucas tells her quickly. "It wasn't supposed to happen like that, but it did, and she's the most perfect result."

"And Brooke just didn't tell you?"

"She did what she thought was best."

"So keeping Skye from seeing you was best for her?"

"Like keeping James from seeing Nathan is best for _him_?"

"That's different." Haley tells him coldly. "You didn't do what Nathan did, you didn't leave."

"I let Brooke leave." Lucas shrugs sadly. "I cheated on her twice, with her best friend. It's the worst thing I could have done."

"But she's punishing your daughter for something that happened between the two of you. That's not fair Lucas."

"Isn't that only the same as you punishing James if you don't let Nathan see him? He's missed out on one year Hales, I've missed four. Nathan got the first smile, first birthday, first tooth, first word. He got to hear James call him Daddy, and I missed all of that with Skye. He shouldn't have left." Lucas reasons. "But he loves James. Don't take their relationship from him."

-

"Rachel's coming too." Brooke had told him quickly over the phone. She's said she was in between meetings, so she didn't have long to talk, but she'd said that they'd be coming in a couple weeks. They'd booked in at a hotel, so there was no need to clear out any guest bedrooms, she'd said, but if he'd make sure that there was cream soda for Skye, that would be great. "She's a little fussy." She'd elaborated. "But if she knows her daddy had bought it specially, it would be better than soda at the hotel any day."

So he waits now, sat in a chair in the living room until Brooke calls to let them know they're in Tree Hill. But when it's Rachel's panicked voice he hears on the other end of the line, Lucas finds himself grabbing his car keys before he even knows where he has to go.

"Lucas there's been an accident. Brooke and Skye are in the hospital."

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Ooh a little cliffhanger haha. I don't normally do this...please review guys :) xxx 


	6. Family Ties

**A/N- **So this might be a bit of a surprise considering I only posted the other day, but I wanted this story to be complete before Christmas, so now that I'm home from uni for the holidays, hopefully I can get my chapters out quicker. This isn't exactly a filler chapter, but I needed to include it so that things later on in the story will make sense (at least, i hope they will lol) Hope you guys enjoy, and you know I'd be grateful if you could take the time to review at the end :)

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**All I Want for Christmas**

Family Ties

They'd only just made it to Tree Hill, after a delayed flight and a slow cab driver. Skye had run across the road, excited to see her daddy's house, and Brooke had run out to grab her before the car hit her. She'd knocked her daughter to the ground, causing minor concussion and a few cuts and bruises, but the car had hit Brooke, not at great speed, but enough to knock her to the ground, breaking her arm, so Rachel had told him, handing him another cup of hospital coffee that he'd never drink.

"Can't you move Skye so that she's nearer Brooke?" Lucas asks the nurse. "She wants to be near her Mom."

The nurse shakes her head. "It's hospital procedure that she stays on the children's ward, Mr Scott. I'm sorry. But the doctor just wants to observe her for the night, and if all looks well, she should be able to go home tomorrow."

"But _home_ is in New York with Brooke." Lucas stresses. "Things between us…they're difficult and I'm not sure if Skye would be best with me. Perhaps you could get us a…family room?"

The nurse offers him a small, if not somewhat confused smile. "I'll see what I can do."

"I can take her back you know." Rachel says. "To New York."

Lucas shakes his head. "She should be with Brooke."

"You're her father." Rachel argues. "And she's asking about you. She's not scared of you Lucas."

"I know." He replies with a tight smile. "But I'm a little scared of her."

"Of course you are." She laughs a little. "She's Brooke's daughter-you should be terrified. Go talk to her Lucas. She wants her daddy."

"And what about Brooke?"

Rachel rolls her eyes. "She always _was_ one for drama."

"Rach…"

"She'll be fine Lucas. It's a broken arm and a concussion. The doctor said she should be fine."

"But she hasn't woken up yet."

"The doctor said it was normal-you were there."

"I know, but…"

"She's been working a lot lately, and she's probably really tired. This is her chance to sleep."

"Okay." Lucas nods. "But you'll come get me if she wakes up?"

"I'll come get you."

"Thanks Rachel." He tells her softly, leaving the room where Brooke lays, peacefully sleeping, where it seems almost a shame to wake her up when she looks that at ease. "And I'm sorry." He calls back. "About the other week, I shouldn't have blamed you, I shouldn't have said those things."

Rachel only shrugs, a toss of her red hair. "It doesn't matter. Now go see your daughter."

-

"Thanks for not telling him." Brooke croaks quietly, her tired hazel eyes looking up at Rachel as the clock ticks in the otherwise silent room, Lucas having gone to spend time alone with his daughter for almost the first time.

Her best friend shrugs. "Whatever."

"I just can't talk to him right now, I don't know what to say."

"About what?" Rachel asks.

"About Skye, our lives, anything."

"He cares you know." Rachel says, sitting down in the chair which Lucas had previously occupied. "Not just about Skye, but you too."

Brooke's lips twitch involuntarily, and Rachel frowns, as if trying to work out what the brunette is thinking. She used to be hard to read, Rachel had thought, but over the past four years, the thoughts and mind of Brooke Penelope Davis had become somewhat less distant, her actions easier to interpret. But when it came to Lucas Scott, all Rachel knows, is that her best friend couldn't be any more in love with him if she tried. He has her heart, and probably always will, she'd guessed, and the fact that there's a little girl with his eyes and his blood and his surname won't do anything to help her get over him.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this." Brooke says. "He was supposed to get Peyton pregnant and marry _her_. I'm not supposed to be here right now, he's not supposed to be Skyla's father."

"And who is Brooke?" Rachel returns. "Chase? Felix? Any of the other guys you've had?"

"Hey! I'm not like you, I don't go flitting from guy to guy never looking for anything more than a few dates and a quick…"

"Screw?" Rachel finishes, her eyebrow raised at her best friend. The bitchy banter between them hasn't changed, and they're glad, if not for the comfort of knowing they don't really mean it, then for the continuity-the thing that's been constant throughout their friendship.

"I didn't mean…"

"He's the best father you could have wanted for her you know? You don't want Peyton to have his child, you don't want him to put that ring on her finger. _You _want him."

Brooke snorts at the idea, involuntarily pulling the sheets up a little higher, a little closer to her body.

"Admit it Brooke, you didn't tell Lucas about Skye because you still loved him and you didn't want to get hurt again."

"That's not true!" She replies, adamant. "I couldn't have him hurt Skye. I couldn't trust him, I _still_ can't trust him."

Rachel only shrugs, muttering something that resembles 'whatever' under her breath. "If that's your story. But there's a little girl who'd love to have her daddy around, and a guy that just wants to be able to love his daughter without you stopping him. Don't take that from them Brooke."

Brooke lays there, forcing herself to become detached from all emotions as she cracks Rachel a small smirk. "And when did you turn into the preacher of love?"

-

"James, get your coat." Haley instructs, pulling the little boy away from Nathan and the train set sprawling across the floor.

"Why? Where are we going?"

"Remember Aunt Brooke?"

"The lady who sends the clothes?"

"That's right." Haley forces a smile. "Well Uncle Luke has just called to tell me that she's been in an accident, so we're going to the hospital to see if she's going to get better soon."

"Brooke's been in an accident?" Nathan asks. "I'll come with you."

"No."

"C'mon Haley, she's my friend too, and…"

"Friends stay in touch. Husbands don't leave. Guess that makes you none of those things." She cuts, doing up the zipper on James' jacket.

"Then I'll stay here with James, he shouldn't be at the hospital."

"Don't you _dare_ tell me where he should or shouldn't be!" Haley snaps. "I've raised him on my own for the past year, you have no idea."

"Then I'm coming, you can't stop me Haley."

She doesn't look at him, just puts on her own jacket, pulling her hair out from underneath the material before placing gloves over each of James' hands, finishing with the matching hat for his head.

Tree Hill had gotten exceptionally cold the past few weeks, with snow forecast to fall within the next couple days. The skies were already showing signs of snowfall to come, huge grey clouds gathering, providing the best backdrop for Haley's mood.

"I'm not explaining anything." Haley mutters, straightening out James' jacket. "Not to the press, or to Lucas or Brooke."

"You don't have to." Nathan says softly. "And thanks Hales."

She doesn't reply, only ushering Nathan out of the front door, hoisting James up onto her hip as she shuts the door behind her, a thousand flashes hurting her eyes as they make their way to her car.

-

"Mommy!" Sklya exclaims, running to the bed where Brooke is laying, Rachel perched on the edge.

"Hey princess, how are you feeling?" Brooke asks, looking questioningly at Lucas.

"I asked the nurse if I could bring her to see you." He says. "It was Skye's idea."

"This is my daddy." The little girl smiles proudly at Brooke and Rachel, Lucas not sure how to respond.

Brooke only nods, not daring to meet Lucas' eyes as Rachel raises her eyebrows, pointing to the door.

"I'll leave you guys to it for a while." She tells them, hoisting Skyla onto the bed beside Brooke. "There's somewhere I have to go."

Lucas and Brooke spend the next hour making small talk in between Skyla's constant questions about why they are in the hospital, and why she doesn't have a bandaged arm like her mommy.

"But I have a prettier gown than you." She tells Brooke, gesturing to her own brightly-coloured hospital gown compared to Brooke's pale one.

"That you do baby." She smiles, smoothing her daughter's raven hair away from her face. The cut on her forehead isn't bad, but Lucas can't help feeling a stab of guilt for the two of them being here. If he hadn't showed up in New York, none of this would have happened, yet he knows that if he also hadn't showed up in New York, he might not have spent the last couple hours with his daughter.

Brooke attempts to shift her legs in the small bed, and Lucas sees her discomfort, lifting their daughter off of the bed, and sitting down in the chair beside her, places Skyla on his lap, cracking a smile for the giggling little girl who shows no signs of being in an accident, other than the cut on her forehead, and a few bruises.

"What's your favourite colour daddy?" Skye asks, not giving him chance to answer before telling him that her favourite is pink, and that she has a pink bedroom at home, and several pink dresses, a pink jacket, and a pair of pink ugg boots that her Auntie Rach had brought back when she'd been to see her own mommy and daddy in 'Caldiforna'

"What do you like to eat?" She questions, tracing Lucas' nose and lips with her tiny fingers, confusing him a little, but he lets her continue regardless, just happy that he's got to meet her, and that she's seemingly comfortable around him.

"I like pizza…"

"Me too!" Skye cuts in excitedly. "And so does mommy!"

"Well maybe when your mommy's better, we'll all go out for pizza."

"And Auntie Rach too?"

"And Auntie Rach too if she wants to come."

-

Haley stops just outside of Brooke's room, James clinging onto her hand as Nathan frowns, seeing the little girl on Lucas' knee.

"And then there's hula Barbie and she had a grass skirt and orange and pink hair." They watch Skye explain to Lucas as Brooke smiles at her daughter, continuing to tell her father about her extensive Barbie collection.

"Daddy do you have any Barbies?"

"_Daddy_?" Nathan questions, looking towards Haley. She doesn't disclose anything but a smile towards her best friend and the girl she knows he still loves. "They look…"

"Like a family." Haley finishes, turning away from Brooke's room as she smiles at her own son, her eyes flitting to Nathan's, and then just as quickly, fixing back on the ground again, that smile disappearing as she guides James in front of her, making her way back down the hospital corridor, Nathan following behind.

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Okay guys, so the faster you review for me, the faster I'll post the next chappie :)

Love Gracie xxx


	7. Leaving Home

**A/N- **You guys are awesome! Seriously, thank you all so much for your reviews. They really mean a lot :)

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**All I Want for Christmas**

Leaving Home

_Is there time? Is there time,  
To follow your heart?_

Brooke had spent the next few days in hospital, Skye staying with Rachel in the hotel they'd booked for the three of them, Nathan also staying in that same hotel. The reason he'd left home in the first place was money, and now that he had enough of it, it was spent on pretty much anything, regardless of price or function.

Haley had visited with flowers, kissed her friend and told her that she wished she'd been here for the past five years, and not miles away in New York. Nathan had come too, not with Haley, but on his own to surprise his oldest friend, Brooke choosing not to comment on the rumours surrounding his release from the Bobcats, or the smell of stale whisky on his clothes.

His breath hadn't smelt, so that had to be good, the brunette had concluded, but knowing that alcohol was never far away, she hadn't built her hopes up that he could rebuild his relationship with Haley and James. Brooke was realistic, she liked to think. It wasn't easy making a relationship work, she knew that, and she wasn't going to push Nathan into rehab or psychiatric help. He had to do that on his own.

She'd asked him about Peyton. She didn't want to ask Haley, Brooke knew she would leave out anything that might hurt her. Nathan would tell the truth regardless.

He'd said that her and Lucas had tried to make a go of things while she was out in LA, but it hadn't worked. The distance had been too far, and with neither wanting to relocate, they'd decided that perhaps it would be best to break up, at least until their paths crossed again.

But Peyton had called him, about a year and a half after they'd ended their relationship, to let him know that she'd met somebody. He was an artist, working at the same company that she did, and he'd proposed on a boardwalk overlooking the ocean.

She hadn't been happier, and she'd wanted to wish him good luck in life, saying she really hoped he'd find somebody like she had. Nathan said that that night, Lucas had asked him if he'd done the right thing, letting Brooke go. He'd wished he'd been able to say more than just goodbye and good luck to her, and he'd wanted to find her again, even if it was just as friends, because he missed her.

All Brooke could wonder was why he'd never even tried.

-

"I drew you a picture mommy." Skyla tells her, thrusting the piece of paper into Brooke's hands as Rachel and Lucas each pick up a bag.

It's the four of them. Lucas holding Brooke's hand, Brooke holding Skye's hand, and Skye holding Rachel's hand. They're all smiling, the sky light blue, the grass bright green with a huge yellow sun in the top of the picture.

"Do you like it?" The little girl asks. "That will be when we all go for pizza like daddy said."

Brooke nods, forcing a smile at her daughter, and then another one at Lucas. "It's lovely baby, thank you."

Rachel keeps her distance from them, only talking when asked something by Skyla, but she catches Brooke's eye when Lucas hoists their daughter up, settling her on his shoulders as she giggles, a miniature set of dimples etched into the sides of her mouth. To Lucas, everything about her screams Brooke, and to Brooke, every time her daughter calls him daddy, she feels that pain in the right side of her chest, just like she did when they broke up, and when she couldn't find the strength within herself to call him to let him know that he was a father.

Rachel curls Skye's hair, Lucas has noticed, with curling irons nonetheless, leaving little ringlets to frame her tiny shoulders, a slick of lip gloss on her pearly lips. He knows it's only fun, and that his daughter will have requested to look even more like the two of them, and he bets she has more make up back in New York, that the two of them let her wear around the apartment, pretending she's a model in her mommy's heels. But he wants to ask them not to do it anymore. He wants a say in how his daughter is dressed, how her hair is styled, how much make up they let her wear out of the house.

He wants to fight with Brooke like all couples do, telling her that Skye doesn't need another scarf or another jacket, or skirt. He wants to be there on Christmas morning when she opens her presents and squeals with delight that she's gotten yet another Barbie off of Santa. He wants to buy her a basketball, even if she'll never play with it, because it's something that he loves, and he wants to let his daughter know that. He wants to be there one to spoil her too, not just Brooke and Rachel, because even though no gift could make up for four years, he wants to see her little face when she unwraps something he'd chosen for her in the toy store.

But he'll never tell Brooke this, he can't tell Brooke this because even though she was the one who didn't tell him about his daughter, he's as much to blame due to the way he treated her, and the way their relationship faltered time after time.

"Daddy when can we go for pizza?" Skye asks him, wrapping her arms around Lucas' neck.

"Maybe when mommy's better."

"But mommy's better now."

"I meant when her arm is better." Lucas laughs. "What do you think Brooke?"

She has to force another smile when Lucas turns to face her, nodding as she looks at her daughter's beaming face. It's when she sees Skye, that she realises doing this was worth everything, even the stay in hospital to know that her daughter has finally the met the father she's always wanted. But when there's that pain in her chest yet again, she can't help but want to take everything back- answering the door that night, telling Skye about him, telling _Lucas_ that she'd told Skye about him.

She can make fun of Rachel flitting from guy to guy, never staying for more than a couple dates before moving on, rolling in from clubs at four in the morning, spending the next day with countless glasses of water and a box of aspirin, but Brooke knows that sometimes, that life would be so much easier.

It's hard to remember the time before she was in love with Lucas, but if she forces herself, she can, and even though she wasn't fulfilled, even though guys didn't respect her, and she didn't respect herself, it was simpler. Nothing meant anything, and love was something she only saw in movies.

Lucas Scott was the making and the breaking of the real her all at once, and sometimes, Brooke would give anything to have that not be the case.

"Brooke?" Lucas asks again.

"I think that would be great baby." She says to Skye, catching Rachel's smile as the redhead realises that her best friend has finally taken her advice.

-

"You can't see him Nathan." Haley tells her husband, referring to James as she stands in the doorway of Lucas' house, the front door only slightly open as their son plays upstairs, unaware of his father's presence.

"Why not? C'mon Haley, just because I haven't been in Tree Hill for the past year doesn't mean that I don't love him, or you. I sent a cheque, and I…"

"I didn't want your damn money Nathan!" Haley shouts. "What part of that don't you understand? I wanted you here, to be a parent and a husband, and a sober one at that."

"Hales." Nathan lowers his voice, aware that the press are still lurking outside of his brother's house. "I haven't had anything to drink for days."

She shakes her head. "That doesn't matter. You're an alcoholic Nathan, and if you can't realise that, then you shouldn't be around James."

"I won't drink anymore, I promise."

Haley only shakes her head again, undeterred. As hard as it is for her, still loving the man that broke her heart, and her family, she knows that putting James first is the only right thing to do. She wants to believe Nathan, to tell him that she trusts him, and that all she wants is for them to be a family again. But it's not that simple, it's _never _that simple, and she can't let herself think that it ever could be.

"I can't believe you Nathan. I need to trust you before you spend time with James."

"Please Haley." He's almost begging now, and it's taking everything inside of her not to let him through the door. "I'll do anything you have you both back, just tell me what you want."

"I want you to go to rehab." She tells him flatly. "I want you to realise that you have a problem, and I want you to want to be treated, but if you don't, then it's all pointless."

Nathan doesn't reply, only searches his wife's eyes for any trace of forgiveness. "Just…know that I love you both." He says softly, eyes closing as he turns around, nothing like the man Haley had ever imagined he could become.

-

Brooke had been out of hospital for two days, and after a phone call, had agreed to meet Lucas to talk, just the two of them, with Skyla staying with Rachel. They'd go to the park, Brooke's best friend had promised, to play in the snow again, even though it was only a little that had fallen so far.

So now, Brooke finds herself holding a paper cup of hot chocolate in her one good hand as her and Lucas do anything they can not to talk about their relationship.

Everything is exactly how she remembers it to be, and exactly how she'd hoped it wouldn't be. Karen's café is still open, teens nursing their cold hands and faces with coffees and hot chocolates and slices of the delicious cakes that were always homemade.

The trees in the streets are covered in tiny twinkling lights, enough to make her excited by merely looking at them, with the ground hard and crisp underneath her warm boots.

"You have cinnamon in your hot chocolate now." Lucas observes, wondering just when everything had changed between them, and even the little details about each other were no longer the same.

"Um, yeah."

"You always used to say that anything added to your favourite drink spoilt the taste."

Brooke shrugs. "I guess I wasn't very open to change back then."

His eyes are cold towards her now, not deep with love or passion, but with anger and confusion that she could ever do this to him. Perhaps he'd now realised how much he'd hurt her back in high school.

"Why Skye?" Lucas asks. He's curious to how she named their daughter, to how she'd brought her up in the middle of New York with a busy career and no support from her family.

"It's Skyla Rain." She tells him, smiling as she recalls the moment she picked their daughter's name. "I had a few names picked out, none of them Skye, and for a while after she was born, her eyes were closed."

Lucas smiles, and Brooke continues, her fingers wrapping around the mug of steaming liquid.

"I mean, obviously they were open for a little while, but after she was wrapped up in the blanket, she just slept. She was more like you in her personality when she was a baby."

"But she's all you now." He tells her, remembering the way she ran around laughing as Rachel jumped out from behind the trees with balls of snow.

Brooke shakes her head smiling. "Maybe more so than she was, but there's always moments when she reminds me exactly of you. Like when she sleeps, she takes up the whole of my bed, even though she's only tiny, and when she first wakes up, she does that deep mumbly thing that you always do."

Brooke realises what she's said, correctly herself straight away. "Did."

"I still do that." Lucas replies softly with a half smile, easing the tension a little as Brooke continues her story.

"So when she finally did open her eyes, they were sky blue, just like yours, and I knew I had to name her that. It just suited her."

"And Rain?"

"It was raining the day I found out I was pregnant, and the day I went for the first scan, the day I found out she was a girl, the first time that she kicked, and the day she was born. I just thought it had real significance." She shrugs, biting her lower lip. "Do you like it?"

"I love it." Lucas nods, not able to say much else. Everything she's just told him reinforces everything he missed, and everything she'd want someone there for.

"How are we going to do this Lucas?" Brooke suddenly asks, stopping in the street. It's the question she's wanted an answer to for the past few weeks, and she knows she can't ever get one, not really.

"I don't know."

"I work a lot, and to keep flying here from New York…it's going to be hard."

"But I'd fly over there too." Lucas reasons. "We have to make this work Brooke, if not for us, then for Skye."

"What do you mean, we have to make _this _work? What's _this_?"

"Getting along." He shrugs. "As parents. She at least deserves that from us."

She continues walking again, suddenly shaking her head violently.

"What's wrong?"

"Damn hair." Brooke mutters. "It's poking me in the eye."

Lucas turns to face her, brushing away the stray wisps of shiny brunette hair. He's close enough to breath her in now, and she smells just like she always did, almost like a bakery; sugary sweet, perfect to him.

Her eyes are staring at him, flickering, hazel with flecks of emerald green and gold, like jewels, too good to touch. She offers him a small smile, a nervous smile for moving her hair out of her face, as she watches his hand brush a few more strands slowly away, his blue eyes never once leaving hers.

"I could move to New York." He says, his voice seemingly booming in the silence that had fallen on her ears. "Keep writing, be nearer you and Skye."

Brooke shakes her head slowly. "I don't think that would work, you leaving home, I…"

"Home." Lucas shrugs. "It's where you and Skye are."

"It's where Skye is." Brooke says, as if correcting him. "Just…lets go slowly Luke?"

_Luke_. She hasn't called him that in years, and now all he wants to do is tell her that she's his pretty girl, his cheery, and that he wants them to be a family.

"Slowly…"He nods. "Um yeah, of course."

_Dress your wounds, test your strength, face the night.  
Crave the touch, feel the pain, know the signs.  
Is there truth, In your pain?  
You decide.

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_Lyrics here are from 'The Shade of the Poison Tree' by Dashboard Confessional. Please review, thanks guys :) xxx 


	8. Christmas Eve

**A/N- **Argh, sorry this took a while to post, I really wanted it to go out before now, but I've only just finished writing it due to endless trips to this place near where I live so that I could take my four year old sister to see 'Santa's Reindeer' lol. Thank you so much for your reviews, as always, I really appreciate them :)

Hope you enjoy this, I think you might...

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**All I Want for Christmas**

Christmas Eve

"He's coming tonight!" Skyla squeals, running around the living room in Brooke's apartment. "Santa's coming!"

"He sure is princess." Brooke laughs, raising her eyebrow at Rachel, her arm still bandaged but more lightly now, wondering just whether all the presents she'd bought would fit under the tree. A couple weeks had passed since their visit to Tree Hill, and since then, Lucas had called every night to wish his daughter a good night, and in hope of persuading Brooke to let him come to New York for the holidays.

She'd maintained that he should stay with Haley and James and his Mom and Lily, after all, Christmas was a time for families.

"But _you're_ my family!" He'd argued. "You and Skye, and even Rachel."

And all she'd replied with, was that _Skyla_ was his family. She's his daughter. But her? She's just the mother of his child, and Rachel? Well she's someone he was never really friends with anyway.

"Will Santa be going to daddy's house too?" She asks.

"I would think so." Brooke replies.

"Because James lives there, with Haley, so Santa would have to go right?"

"Right."

"Then can I ask Santa for something to bring daddy?"

"What do you want him to bring?" Brooke asks, scooping her daughter up in one arm to tickle her once she was on her knee, her other arm out of action, at least for a couple more weeks.

"A Barbie?"

"Why a Barbie?" Brooke laughs.

"Because daddy doesn't have any, and I have lots because I like to play with them. Maybe if daddy had some, he would want to play with them too."

"Lucas' face when he opens up a Barbie…yeah, I'd like to see that too." Rachel laughs through from the kitchen, loading the dishwasher. They'd always had a tradition on Christmas Eve, that they made waffles with syrup and ice cream, because even though Brooke had explained to Skye about baby Jesus, and why Santa brought presents, she still said that Christmas was about eating loads, and _loads _should always start with a sugar fix.

"Why can't daddy come here for Christmas?"

"Because New York is a long way baby." Brooke replies. "And daddy has Haley and James staying with him in his house."

"The we could go stay too? And have a party."

"No, we can't go." Brooke tries to smile. "But after Christmas, maybe your dad will come here again."

"But in the story you readed to me last night, the daddy was with the boy at Christmas. And so was the mommy."

"I know baby, but this isn't like the story."

"Brooke…" Rachel says softly.

The brunette doesn't need to make eye contact. She knows exactly what Rachel is trying to say, and for that reason, she chooses to ignore her, pretend that her friends had said nothing because having Lucas in New York for Christmas would be more pain than she can deal with right now.

"Hey princess, why don't you go put your coat on and we'll go out for a walk?" Rachel suggests. "I just need to have a quick talk with your mom."

Skye shrugs, and trudges out of the living room, clutching a Barbie with a long bright pink dress and matching shoes.

"Rachel don't do this." Brooke almost pleads softly.

"Don't do what?"

"Try and tell me that Lucas should be here."

Rachel raises an eyebrow at her best friend, fake-innocently flipping her hair behind her shoulders. "He's her father Brooke. I thought you were going to let him in?"

"No." She shakes her head adamantly. "I've let him in before, and this is the result. He can't come, I can't risk him ruining Christmas."

"You really think that Lucas could ruin Christmas for Skye? She wants him here!"

"Yeah, and I don't."

Skye emerges in the doorway, cream coat buttoned up all wrong making Rachel laugh. "Nice job with the buttons princess."

"They were hard!" Sklya pouts as Rachel redoes the buttons in the correct holes, planting a kiss on the little girl's nose to make her giggle.

Turning to Brooke as she puts on her jacket, she looks away purposefully, smoothing down the scatter cushions on the couch.

"Don't be selfish Brooke. He loves her and it's Christmas."

-

She's made a million batches of cookies, knowing that nobody could possibly eat that many, but the task of cooking has kept Haley busy, with James out at the River Court playing ball with Lucas.

So when the doorbell rings and she looks down at herself: messy hair, flour on her jeans, face flustered, Haley sighs and rolls her eyes for the timing. But when it's Nathan on the other side of the door, after not having spoken to him in over a week, her chest aches, and she can't possibly think about the state of her appearance.

"Hales just hear me out." He asks her before Haley can even say anything. She only nods, giving him the chance to continue. "I've been doing a lot of thinking back at my hotel room and I…I believe you. I have a problem with alcohol, I know that, but…"

"There's no buts Nathan." She tells him. "I have James to think about, you can't make excuses…"

"And I'm not. I need help Hales, I know that. And if rehab is the place to get that, then that's where I need to be."

Haley offers him a half smile, one for the realisation that he has a problem, and one of gratefulness, that he could come and tell her this.

"But tomorrow is Christmas." Nathan continues. "Please let me see my son, _our son_, even if it's only for an hour."

Her mouth is quivering, Haley knows that. But she can't stop it, even when she tries to bite her bottom lip to hold it still, it fails to work, and she has to rest a nervous hand on her hip to keep it from doing the same. It's as though she has no control over her body when she's around Nathan, so when her head shakes involuntarily, her mouth speaking the words "I don't think you should, not until you're sober." so has to go with it, even though all she wants is for them to be a family again.

"But Hales…"

"Nathan, don't make this any harder."

"But it doesn't have to _be_ hard! All you have to do is let me see James. _I love you _Haley!"

She shakes her head. "I love you too Nathan. And you're going to get better, and then we can talk about _us_ again. But I can't put James at risk, please don't ask me to do that."

"You'll talk about us when I get help, you'll…"

"James and I will be here when you're better." She cuts in nodding, and Nathan only replies with a small smile and a quick nod before he lets her close the door, leaving him staring at the holly wreath on the front door.

-

"Skyla Davis, if you don't put your pyjamas on then Santa won't be able to come!" Brooke attempts to calm her excited daughter, giving up when the giggling little girl knocks her with a fairy wand.

"But he doesn't need to come now, he can come when I'm asleep." She protests, grabbing Rachel's hand so that she can twirl around in the fairy outfit they'd bought earlier in the day. "Will he be at daddy's house right now?"

"Maybe." Brooke answers. "He could be anywhere. Africa, Australia, China…"

"Could he bring daddy here?"

"Baby we talked about this." Brooke takes hold of Skye, lifting her with her one good hand as she pouts again, bottom lip stuck out just like Brooke always does.

"But Santa is magic right?"

"Right."

"So if I wished really hard, he could bring daddy?"

"I don't know Skye." She replies softly. "Santa can bring toys, but maybe not people."

"But when I writed my list to give to the fairies, you said that Santa could bring me anything."

"I meant toys princess. Besides, your daddy has Haley and James. He can't just leave."

"But he's my daddy, not James'. It's not fair if he gets him."

"Skye, daddy is a long, long way from here. If Santa brings him, he might not be able to deliver presents to all the other girls and boys."

"But…"

"How about after Christmas, we go back to Tree Hill? And you could play with James some more."

Skye screws up her nose, making Brooke laugh a little. "But James plays with a basketball and not Barbies."

"Well maybe he could teach you to play basketball…"

She turns towards the door as the bell rings, making Skyla squeal with delight. "Is that Santa?"

Brooke looks at Rachel who laughs and replies that he wouldn't come when they were awake, only when they had all gone to sleep.

But to Sklya Davis, the man stood at the door when Brooke opens it is better than Santa ever could be.

"Daddy!" She screams, running into Lucas' arms, two suitcases by his feet as he smoothes his daughter's dark hair.

"Hey Skye."

"Did Santa bring you? I wished really hard so that he would."

"Not quite." Lucas replies with a smile. "But it would have been cool if he had."

"And you could have rided in the sleigh with Rudolph."

"I could." He laughs. "But Santa's busy delivering presents, so I caught a plane instead."

"Is he delivering me presents later?" She squeals with two perfect tiny dimples framing the sides of her face.

"I'd expect so." Lucas tells her as Brooke opens the door a little wider, silently letting him into her apartment, cases included as he carries their daughter inside, Rachel holding her hands up to let Brooke know that she had nothing to do with any of it.

-

"Lucas what are you doing here?" Brooke demands after she's put Skye to bed, the little girl ready to dream her way into Christmas morning. "I told you not to come."

"I know." He replies with a slight shrug. "But it's Christmas Brooke, and Nathan and Haley…well they're working things through, and all I could think about was you and Skye, and I just thought 'what am I doing here?', so I caught the first plane I could."

"But Luke…"

"I'm here for Skyla." Lucas tells her. "Nothing to do with us, or anything else for that matter. But it's the first Christmas that I know I have a daughter, and spending it in Tree Hill away from her…well that doesn't make me a good father."

"I…"

"I'm sorry if you don't want me here, I won't stay, I've booked a hotel, but I…"

"You can have my room." Brooke cuts in with a small smile and a nonchalant shrug. "I'll sleep with Skye."

"I can take the couch, it's fine, really."

"You'll have my room." Brooke repeats. "The sheets aren't fresh but…"

"Thank you." He smiles, leaning in to kiss her cheek, but as she tries to return it, he catches her lips, brushing them with his until she tilts her head just that little bit further, and he's able to capture them, lip gloss and all until she pulls away, closing her hazel eyes as she breaths in, a content sigh escaping her lips.

"I'm glad." She tells him. "That you came for Christmas, I should have called…I…"

He cuts her off again, hands at the back of her head, fingers smoothing her raven hair as she lets her own sweep across his neck, just light enough to make his ears tingle and his lips curve into a broad smile, wide enough to break their kiss.

"This is going to get complicated Broody." Brooke tells him with a dimpled smile.

_Broody_. Lucas can't even reply, the use of the nickname is good enough to make him speechless. And Brooke only giggles, Rachel watching from the kitchen with a somewhat saddened smile. Brooke's right, things could get complicated. But the redhead turns away, back to the bottle of water in her hand as she watches the snow fall from the window.

It's Christmas Eve after all, and she's sure they can forget complicated. For now.

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Okay, so I know I didn't get this story finished before Christmas, but I'm willing to write the two more chapters I had planned so that I can end this story if you guys want?

I'll take this chance to wish you all a very Merry Christmas :)

Love Gracie xxx


	9. Christmas Day

**A/N- **Talk about a long time in between chapters! I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner, but I've been busy over Christmas (eating and drinking etc) so I've made a decision regarding this story. There's a lot more that I want to write, so I was thinking rather than continue this story into this year (because it's supposed to be a Christmas fic) I've managed to bring it to a close in this chapter, but I'll write the sequel next Christmas!

So I want to thank every one of you lovely reviewers, and **Lynn**, if you're reading this, I'm not neglecting WDYHGM, I've just been busy lol. And I promise I'll review :)

So I suppose all that's left to say is 'hope you enjoy'! xxx

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**All I Want for Christmas**

Christmas Day

Brooke's living room is filled full of presents, large boxes, small boxes, with tinsel strung everywhere, probably by Rachel she guesses. There's ribbon and bows, and pretty flower clips to decorate the wrapping paper, Skyla's mouth open as she stares at what Santa has left for her.

"He came Mommy." She whispers. "Look, he brought things for you and Auntie Rach too."

"He sure did." Brooke smiles, watching as her daughter fingers each gift carefully, her blue eyes wide with excitement. Rachel wanders in, white robe tied around her thin waist, eye mask on top of her red hair as she smiles at the little girl, taking her place beside Brooke to watch Skye open her presents.

"Merry Christmas." She mumbles sleepily with a tired yawn. She'd called _him _last night,_ Cooper, _for the first time in years. She can't remember the last time she'd dialled that number, but it was stored in her brain all the same, and the conversation they'd had about all kinds of things hadn't helped her sleep.

She'd gone to see him when Brooke was in the hospital, just to see how he was doing, or so she'd told herself. He'd moved to Tree Hill permanently after the birth of baby James, and had attempted to help Nathan overcome his problems. It hadn't worked, and Haley had blamed him for influencing Nathan with his bad lifestyle choices. She never had forgiven him for ruining her wedding.

"You look like crap." Brooke retorts with a smirk. Since becoming pregnant with Skye, she'd taken a lot of stick off the redhead for her weight gain, and the size of her boobs, and whenever Rachel didn't style her hair or wear at least a little makeup, the brunette took the opportunity to make sure that her friend didn't think she was the hotter one.

"Yeah? And you don't look like you got any last night, so what's up with that?"

"He just showed up! It's not like we're even together or anything's going to happen..."

"You keep telling yourself that." Rachel says quietly with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe one day you'll actually believe it."

"Bitch." Brooke mutters, her eyes still on her daughter ripping paper off of her presents, shrieking at the sight of another Barbie or a princess dress-up set.

"Slut."

"Whore."

"Turkey!"

"What?"

"Damnit I forgot to defrost the turkey last night!" Brooke exclaims, sighing. So far, this Christmas was _not_ going to plan.

"Mommy you're not watching!" Skye protests, not caring that they won't have a turkey for their lunch, because Santa has been, and she wants to open presents.

"I'm sorry Skye." Brooke replies. "But mommy forgot the turkey, and now we won't be able to…"

"Merry Christmas." Lucas mumbles, standing in the doorway in only his jogging bottoms as Rachel winks at Brooke.

"And a very Merry Christmas it is too." Rachel smiles at him. "I forgot how you look without a shirt."

"My daughter is in the room." He says quickly.

"Daddy Santa came!" Skye squeals from her position beside the Christmas tree, wrapping paper in her hands as Lucas joins Brooke and Rachel by the couch.

"He definitely did Skye!"

"But he forgotted you. There's no presents with daddy on them."

"That's okay." Lucas smiles. "Maybe he got confused because I'm here instead of Tree Hill."

"So he'll have left you presents there?"

"I hope so."

"Good." Skyla nods to herself. "Because I asked him to bring you something."

"You did?"

"Yes but Auntie Rach and Mommy said you wouldn't want it."

"I'm sure that's not true." Lucas reassures the little girl, who simply smiles and turns her attention back to the gifts underneath the tree.

-

They've spent the past few hours practically ignoring each other. Since their kiss last night, Brooke's unsure of how she feels, and Lucas is unsure of where he stands, so it comes almost as a relief that Skyla insists on prancing around in her new fairy outfit courtesy of Rachel, singing her own 'fairy song' while telling Lucas at speed, about which Barbies can ride in the red convertible, and which ones have to walk to get the bus.

Brooke hadn't managed to sort out the turkey situation, and so Rachel had decided that they would eat at a diner, because if they thought about it, it was more practical anyway. Four people in a small kitchen was a tight fit, and if they ate out, they wouldn't have to bother loading the dishwasher after lunch.

"How about we play a board game?" Rachel suggests, rubbing her head as Skye finally stops running around, and Lucas emerges with his chest safely hidden behind a blue shirt. "You can pick princess."

"Dream phone?"

"Really? That's a little hard for you to understand baby." Brooke says, knowing that it won't make a difference, because even though her daughter has lots of new games, her favourite is that tatty box containing Brooke's old favourite game.

"But I like the phone." Skye protests with a pout.

"That's not the best reason to play a game though." Brooke replies. "How about something else? Your dad might not like phoning guys up on a pretend phone."

"It's not pretend!" Skye insists. Even after explanations from both Brooke and Rachel, the little girl still didn't understand that the voices on the other end of the plastic green phone were recorded.

"Okay, okay, we'll play." Brooke concedes. "As long as your dad doesn't mind?"

And for the first time, her eyes meet Lucas' and he smiles, letting them know that of course he doesn't mind. They hold their gaze long enough for Rachel to notice, and when she clears her throat, each pair of eyes fix onto the floor, mouths closed and cheeks flushed, hands sweating because neither know what to feel, or what to say.

-

"How come you guys don't love each other like the other mommies and daddies do?" Skye asks, her blue eyes inquisitive as the four of them sit on the floor of the living room, presents all around them, dream phone in the middle.

"Princess that's a hard question." Brooke tells their daughter quietly, silently praying that she'll move on and forget about it.

"But I'm your baby right?" She asks. "Mommy, that's what you say."

"That's because you are my baby." Brooke replies. "You're _our _baby."

"But I thought the boy has to love the girl to have a baby."

Brooke's eyes flick to Lucas, unsure, and he takes over, perhaps making things too plainly cut for his confused daughter.

"Not always." Lucas replies. "Sometimes people can make a baby, even if they don't love each other."

Brooke blinks away tears, turning in the other direction until she can gather herself enough to plaster that smile back on her face.

"But why don't you love Mommy? I love her." Skye says.

"I know you do Skye, and your Mommy and I both love you, but not everybody can love everybody else."

"You know what baby, this is grownup talk, so maybe you and your daddy should just play Barbies, while I go…take out the trash." Brooke gabbles quickly, standing up before the little can protest otherwise.

"Brooke…"

"Just leave it Lucas." She shakes her head, her back still turned to him as she exits the room quickly, her shaking hand furiously wiping at the tears she's tried so hard not to let fall.

"Did I make mommy sad?" Skye asks, her voice quiet as she sits herself in Lucas' lap, her eyes staring up at him to get an answer.

"No princess, you didn't." Rachel says, before Lucas can respond. "I'm just going to help her with the trash…"

"No." Lucas cuts in, passing Skyla to Rachel as he stand up. "I'll go."

"Don't you think you've said enough?"

"This is between me and Brooke."

"She doesn't need this Lucas." Rachel says coldly, her eyes narrowed at the man who's made her best friend cry too many times.

"Just…stay with Skye." He mumbles quickly before leaving the room out of the same door Brooke had, the cold outdoor air hitting him as Rachel forces a smile for the little girl who hasn't a clue what's just happened.

-

"I can't believe I could ever be so damn stupid!" Brooke shouts as Lucas takes a seat beside her, their ears red from the raw wind, the ground frozen from last night's snowfall. "You coming here, how could this ever be a good idea?"

"Brooke I'm sorry." Lucas says softly, inching closer as he presses his hands between his knees just to keep them warm.

"About what happened in there, about everything. But what was I supposed to say to Skye?"

"You weren't supposed to say anything." She mumbles. "You weren't supposed to come here in the first place, you weren't supposed to kiss me last night, you…"

"Hey, I think you'll find that it was you that kissed me…"

"Urgh, you're still so in love with yourself!" Brooke screams in frustration. "Making your big speech to _our _daughter, about how you never loved me, and how you don't have to love someone to make a baby. I don't need reminding of that Lucas, I knew you loved Peyton, I knew I was just something to kill a bit of time. But I kept Skye from you because I didn't want her to feel the way I felt when you chose her over me!"

"Brooke…"

"No!" She screams. "Don't do that 'I'm sorry' voice on me, it's not going to work this time!"

"Where are you going?" He asks when she stands up, straightening her clothes as she tries to compose herself.

"Inside. We'll go out for lunch, and then you can go back to Tree Hill or your hotel or whatever."

"No." He says, grabbing her arm as she tries to step past him.

"What do you mean _'no'_? Let go of me damn it!"

"No Brooke, you're going to listen to this, and I know I should have said it years ago, but I'm saying it now."

"Lucas let me go." She demands, face red from anger, her eyes determined to break from his grasp.

"How was I supposed to tell a four-year-old that I'm in love with her mommy, even though she doesn't want me to be? How do you explain that actually, every ounce of love that I had went into making that baby? And how do you tell a beautiful, strong, amazing mother that I thought I loved someone else, even though it was her all along?"

"Lucas let me go."

Her voice is softer now, cracking as her body is limper in his hold.

"I'm not letting you go Brooke. I did that five years ago and I'm not doing it again."

"I'm not doing this now." She says.

"_I _am." Lucas replies, pulling her closer to him. "And I'm not doing it without you, I _can't _do it without you."

"You think I'm going to drop everything to be with you?" Brooke shouts, rolling her eyes. "I'm not doing that again Lucas, and if you think I would then you don't know me. And if I think about it, you never knew me."

That hurts. He can feel a stabbing pain right in his chest, just like he felt when Haley got knocked down when she was pregnant with James, but this time, there's no heart attack. Just anger that Brooke could ever say such a thing when she knows that he knew her more than anyone.

"Why can't you just let me love you?"

His own voice is raised now, and they're shouting on that tiny balcony in the middle of New York City. It's not how he'd imagined spending Christmas Day, but anything to do with Brooke Davis is unpredictable.

"Because the last time I let you in, you decided you loved Peyton! How do I know that you're not going to do that again? Maybe I can take it, maybe I'm used to all of the disappointment and pain I feel when you choose her over me again and again. But I am _not _doing that to that little girl in there. She deserves better than what I got Lucas, a _lot _better."

"She does deserve better." Lucas nods. "But so do you Brooke, and I know that I love you more than anyone, more than Peyton, more than anyone I've ever met. But if you can't believe me, if…"

"I need to know that if you see Peyton, you're not going to feel for her what I felt for you. Because if you can love somebody else that much…then I don't stand a chance."

"I love you Brooke." He says simply. "And I'm so sorry for ever hurting you, and I know that there's nothing I can do now to take that away, and if you think there isn't a future for us together, then we'll leave this here, now. But if you think that there's even the tiniest of chances for us, if you _think_ you could let me love you, then tell me. Because there's a little girl in there who deserves our best shot. We can give her that Brooke, you and I together."

She shakes her head, and for a moment, he thinks she's given up on the two of them. "Why do you keep doing this to me?" She asks, her eyes full with tears. "Just when I think I'm okay, you do or say something to make me feel like I need you. I was doing fine Lucas, I was doing good before you showed up!"

"You've done better than good Brooke."

"So why can't I just walk away now?"

Lucas only stands there, her arm still in his hand as her lips twitch in the cold. "You can walk away Brooke, you can…"

And then she's kissing him, and instead of that pain in his chest, his hands have gone numb, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up on end as he feels salty tear after salty tear slide down her face, catching in his lips.

"We make a deal." She says, not bothering to wipe her eyes. "We do this together, and this is it. No other chances, no other obstacles. We're us. We're you, me, and Skye."

Lucas nods, kissing her again as though he can't believe it's true.

"Good." Brooke smiles. "Because you looked ridiculously hot this morning without a shirt, and I'm not sure I could get that image out of my head."

Lucas laughs, moving his hand from her arm, to the whole of her body, resting it on the bottom of her back. "Keep it there." He says. "Because I was lying in your bed last night, and it smelt of you, and _I'm _not sure I could get that smell out of my head."

"You're so cheesy."

"You never used to complain."

"I'm not complaining."

"It sounded like it. And you rolled your eyes."

"I always roll my eyes."

"Yeah, and you always roll your eyes when you're complaining."

"Fine." She shrugs. "I was complaining, because you're heading for a cheesiness overload lately."

"Me? You're the one who started it about the whole shirtless thing."

"That was physical. You brought in 'the smell'" She laughs a little, throwing in some faux air-quotes. "You could have just said something about wanting me in the bed with you."

"Fine, it would have been nice to have you in there with me."

"_Nice_? What the hell is nice?"

"Okay, I tried not to think about having you in that bed with me because I might have had to get a cold shower."

"Lucas Scott!"

"Not cheesy enough?"

"Try gross." Brooke replies, screwing up her nose as she feigns disgust. "But if you're mentioning cold showers, maybe tonight I can give you a mental image you'll need a cold shower for."

"Do you still have that red lace underwear?"

"Lucas!" She raises her eyebrow in fake-shock.

"Well?"

"As a matter of fact I'm wearing it right now."

The door opens as Brooke is mid-unbuttoning the shirt she's wearing, red lace clearly visible on creamy skin.

"Mommy, why are you showing daddy your bra?"

Rachel laughs at the two of them as Brooke gabbles an excuse about them not being sure if Lucas was able to tell red apart from pink.

"Pink is the colour I'm wearing, and red is the colour of mommy's bra." Skye tells them seriously, giggling as Lucas hoists her up, and Brooke offers Rachel a satisfied smile.

They're doing fine, the four of them on that tiny balcony, for now. But Rachel knows there's the small matter of her…doctor's results to discuss, Brooke knows that the walls of the apartment are arguably too thin, and Lucas knows that when he tells Brooke about the dog he's bought for Skye, he might not catch another glimpse of the red underwear for the foreseeable future.

* * *

Woo! I know it's the new year, but now this story is finished, so I can continue with 'Nude, With Calla Lilies' and 'These Arms', so if you haven't read those already, go check them out before I update!

Thanks for all of your reviews guys, I appreciate every single one. Hope you have a great 2008 :)

Gracie xxx


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